Self-Care in Support of a Loved One with Alzheimer’s
Caring for someone who is ill is emotionally taxing, even when the illness is short-term and the prognosis guarantees a positive outcome. When it’s degenerative, the emotional toll on the caregiver is exponentially higher. If that degenerative illness affects the mind, it’s higher still.
Focusing on your own needs as a caregiver can seem counterintuitive as you watch your loved one slip further into helplessness. The reality, however, is that the person in your care needs you to look after your own well-being as much as theirs. Your ability to provide care is directly related to your own physical and emotional wellness. To quote an old cliche, “you can’t drive on an empty tank.”
Leverage Family as a First Line of Defense
Whether the decision to care for your loved one is personal or financial, involving family is an important element in making sure your own needs can be met while still meeting the needs of your loved one. It’s natural for family to focus on the state of the individual suffering from Alzheimer’s, but a part-time presence does little to aid their understanding of the emotional stress you’re experiencing. Work with loved ones to create an appropriate visitation and care schedule, which will help with maintaining a routine and common understanding for everyone involved, and also allow you to plan time off to manage your own stress.
Join a Caregivers Support Group for Fellowship
While family is essential to the equation, their own emotions throughout the progression of the loved one’s illness can prevent them from focusing on yours. Tools such as caregiver support groups can provide emotional support that focuses on you rather than the loved one. Whether the group is an informal collection of caregivers meeting up for coffee or chatting online, or a more formal organization equipped with trained support staff, make sure caregivers are the primary focus. Talking with folks who share similar experiences to your own can provide comfort, and help you manage the stress of the situation along with the emotions of other relatives who may not be involved in the day-to -day routine of your loved one’s care.
Hire Out Routine Tasks
If you’ve chosen to care for your loved one for financial reasons, hiring help – be it a cleaning service, a dog walker, a handyman, lawn care service, etc. – for routine tasks may seem out of your reach. However, periodically taking advantage of these types of services can be surprisingly affordable, and have a major impact on your stress level. If a professional still seems outside your budget, consider enlisting some of the young adults in your family or neighborhood to help out for a fixed fee (perhaps they have a set goal for a new laptop or a school trip that you can help them reach), or bartering with friends and neighbors who have skills that match up. Sometimes all you have to do is ask, and that neighbor with the new riding mower will gladly spend a little extra time on it taking care of your yard too.
Options that De-stress You and Your Loved One
Don’t forget to consider other stress management tools that will benefit both you and the person in your care. Non-medicinal therapies like massage or the comfort of a pet have been shown to ease anxiety, and may have other benefits for people suffering from Alzheimer’s. Bringing a dog into the family can provide both you and your loved one some unconditional and on-demand support. If walks are difficult to fit into your busy schedule, a dog walker can help make sure your pet’s needs get met. If adopting isn’t an option, consider enlisting a friend or relative who already owns a pet to be part of the care and visitation schedule you have set up.
Regardless of whether you choose to adopt a pet, join a support group, or share the load with family members, remember to take care of your own emotional needs too. Emotional stress can quickly turn into physical ailments that will impact the care of your loved one far more than you taking a day off to nurture yourself.
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